1 October 1998

I’m going to see the Atlanta Braves play the Chicago Cubs in the second game of the five game series tonight. And today my loyalty was called into question. A few days back when the Cubs beat the Giant for the Wild Card position and the right to be in the playoff I proudly announced, “Cubs all the way, baby!” Mainly because I like the Cubs, I’m from Chicago originally, and.. well.. because it felt like the right thing to say.
I’m also a Braves fan… I have been for a while, even back when they were in last place (yeah, I know, EVERYBODY says that, but I always admire a last place team that refuses to give up). So I’m going to this game tonight, and personally, I don’t care who wins, because I like both teams. I’d be happy to see either one of them move on to the next level, so basically, I’m in a win-win situation because regardless of how the game turns out, I’m a fan of the winner. Is there a law that says I can’t be a fan of more than one team?
Anyhow, my loyalty got called into question when after I made the “Cubs all the way” comment and then today said I was going to the game to see the Braves beat up the Cubs. As if I had just switched sides in a war, I was being called a traitor, and that I was recanting my earlier words. Why?
Then I got raked over the coals again when I said that I was pulling more for the Cubs because the Braves get this far alot and I’m a fan of the underdog. I mean, it’s why I became a Braves fan in the first place, they were in last and I rooted for them. They’ve been on top a while. Sure they haven’t won every World Series in that time, but they have won their division for 7 straight years.
I’m flawed, and I know I’ll never be perfect… and I just get tired of seeing someone win all the time because I know that I don’t. Do I want them to lose… no. Do I want the other guys to win… yes. But then you see the problem with life in general, for people to win, someone has to lose. I don’t want the Braves to lose, but I want the Cubs to win more than I do the Braves. C’est la vie. That’s life. Deal with it.
Of course, I say all this knowing that the Braves are going to win. The Cubs are good. Just not that good. =)
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Theater Review: None.
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Today’s Song: Got You (Where I Want You) by Flys. I just dig the whole idea of this song… a guy… hitting on a girl… who really isn’t even aware that he is alive much less hitting on her… and thinking to himself, “I got her right where I want her… she’s mine.” Just cracks me up and makes me feel good.
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Today’s Movie: Escape From New York. If you have to ask why I would chose this as a movie of the day, then you need to go rent it.
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TV Highlight: I watched the original Khan episode of Star Trek last night on the Sci-Fi channel. I have always loved the movie Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan but I had never seen this episode… truly a treat to see where it all began. Basically the whole Star Trek thing on Sci-Fi is cool, worth making time for now and again.

29 September 1998

Wow… only 6 days this time, instead of 2 months between updates. The sad thing is that not much has happened.
“I went to a party last Saturday night, didn’t get laid, got in a fight, uh-huh, it ain’t no big thing…”
Well, enough Lita Ford lyrics… I did go to a party, I didn’t get laid, but I also didn’t get in a fight… not on Saturday anyway.
In recent months (within the last year) I have lost a few of my best friends… no, they didn’t die… things just changed.
With one it was that I was tired of seeing him complain about his life going nowhere and yet always passing up opportunities when they presented themselves. He wasn’t sure what he wanted and was making no effort to find out. And as I said, I just got tired of being around it, and as his roommate, I was always around it. We parted ways when our third roommate decided to marry some guy she had met on spring break and move to Maryland and we terminated the lease early. I’ve seen him a few times since then, but only in passing really, not as friends.
With the other, it was odd. He blew up at me one day, said some things he probably shouldn’t have, and that was that. I realized in that instance something I had wanted to ignore, we weren’t friends anymore. This started about the same time I got fed up with the other guy mentioned above, and I decided that I wasn’t using my life to its fullest because I let other people have their way too often, I rarely stood up for what I wanted and went with the crowd, or in most cases, this guy. And when I took more control of my life, there started to be a friction between us, because I wasn’t just simply letting him have his way as I had done in the past. Then, for some reason he started doing something (or maybe I just noticed it then), in our IRC chat room he would act totally differently than he did face-to-face. Sitting across a table, we would discuss things, agree, disagree, in a civil manner, but in the chat room, he would always take a side opposite me, whether he believed in it or not, and argue to the death, even when I was right. Then the rug got pulled out from under him in his life, and somehow all that ended up on me, wrong time, wrong place situation I guess. He blew up. Called me a Nazi among other things, and that was that.
Losing friends is something I have never enjoyed. Whenever I moved when my father got transferred I always lost friends, and it always hurt. Somehow though, this is different. It’s not that I want to see them go, they were friends, good friends, close friends, best friends, but somehow my life seems brighter that we have parted ways.
Life is full of doors, in doors and out doors, and people coming and going, and sometimes we invite a friend to stay a while longer when they start to go, and sometimes it’s for the best, and sometimes it’s a better choice to let them go, for them, and for yourself. I’ve let them go, I wish them the best, and I hope they do me the same. Perhaps, somewhere down the road, our paths will cross again… perhaps.
Anyway… I think the time has come… the time has finally arrived… to jump and dance and feel alive!
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Theater Review: Saw nothing this weekend. It happens. Get over it.
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Today’s Song: Shimmer by Fuel. The song just rocks. (period)
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Today’s Movie: I watched Falling Down last night and I remembered back when that movie came out. Everyone I knew saw the commercials where is made Michael Douglas look like the everyman, the hero, raging against the wrongs of the world in his little walk through downtown. And I warned them, I garanteed them that the movie wasn’t going to be that simple. When we left the theater, most of the crowd was a little down. They didn’t like the way it ended, with Mike becoming the bad guy, an man pushed over the edge by life. I loved it. But then… I’m like that sometimes.

23 September 1998

Well, it’s been a while since I updated this… more than 2 months. In that time, I’ve been working my new job as Seagull Software (basically learning that every horror story you ever heard about people who call tech support about “broken cupholders” and “foot pedals” are all true), and I’ve been hanging out with friends alot.
I promised a rant a while back about something that… frankly, something I can’t remember. Must not have been that important. In any event, my world has changed and my outlook on a few things are moving from their once anchored points.
For now, I’m just happy to work, get paid (once a month, now THERE is something to rant about), and hang out on Friday nights at Barnacle’s (a good local restaurant/bar where they have trivia for house cash).
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Theater Review: I’ve seen alot of movies since my last update, but I’m just gonna talk about one (partly in comparison to another) that I saw recently, Baseketball. I have to say that this was much better than I thought (and maybe low expectations helped make it better). It was rude, disgusting, offensive, and down right roll-on-the-floor funny (although not in the theater I saw it in). Everyone I know (save a few) were raving about how funny Something About Mary was, but really, I didn’t like that one very much. Sure, it was funny, but not really as funny as all the hype. Whereas Baseketball started with alot of hype, but that died out when the movie wasn’t raking in the money. I just really liked this movie. And as a bonus, I only paid a dollar to see it. That’s right, I frequent the dollar theater, you want to make something of it!! =)
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Today’s Song: Dammit by Blink 182. I got this CD when I took advantage of one of Columbia House Music Club’s Buy One Get Three Free deals, and it was worth every penny, and this song.. well, it’s just a poppin’ tune. Makes me want to get up and slam.
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Today’s Movie: Like the theater reviews, I’ve seen a bunch of other movies in the time off, but I’ll pick on one that I saw recently. Mimic. It was a cheesy monster movie. But it knew what it was and did it pretty well. Plus, any monster movie where they pull no punches and let the big bad bug kill the annoying kids is a good movie in my book.

9 July 1998

Some time just shortly before noon, Clan DoS died.
DoS, the Disciples of Syrinx (not satanic, its from a Rush song), was the gaming clan that I was in for the last… jeez… almost 2 years. Over the past 6-8 months however, we fell on some hardships as RealLife(tm) set upon many of us.. myself included at times. I like to think I did a nice write up on the closing of our doors, check it out, http://www.clandos.com . Now, so very unlike me, I’m going to quote myself:
“Well… even though I’m one of the guys who helped make the decision to disband the clan, it’s kind of like when they have to shoot Old Yeller… he’s your best friend, he’d give his life for you and you’d do the same, but it just needs doing… Ending the clan hurts… but so does anything worth having… memories more valuable than gold, my friends, that’s what life is all about…”
I actually said that. I look back on that and think, where the hell was I when this got said. It’s like it’s not even me. Same with the write up on the clan page. But then something happened about 30 minutes after I said that and signed off IRC and was working on my webpage.
I still love computer games and comic books… I like cartoons… but somehow… in the last couple of weeks… really the last couple of days… I’ve grown up. Not so much that I forget what it’s like to be a child… but somehow, I saw all this coming… my new job, the clan disbanding, and other things… and I’ve come to understand the world a little bit in places I didn’t before. Things I did yesterday that seemed so cool and fun, today seem irresponsible, like a waste of a few of the precious moments we are given here on this Earth, like time I could have better spent somewhere else, on something else.
I’ve always held that I never regret anything that I have done in my life. And I still don’t. Because I cannot regret the things that made me who I am today because I like who I am, and I would not be the same if I had not made those mistakes that I made. But for the first time I see that maybe, just maybe, I can keep myself from wasting time… from wasting life… on things that in the end give me nothing in return, no sadness, no joy, no “memories more valuable that gold”…
Today is just a sad, sad day all around…
…Tomorrow will be better, if not by nature then I will make it so.
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Theater Review: [none]
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Today’s Song: Oven by Seven Mary Three. Just kind of fits my mood today.
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Today’s Movie: Crossing The Bridge. This is one of those films you’ll never see if you aren’t the kind of person who takes chances on videos you have never heard of. It’s written and directed by Mike Binder, who also did Indian Summer (another good one). It’s just a good movie about three close friends. Makes me feel good when I watch it.

4 July 1998

We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!
Sorry, had to do it. Today is the 4th of July. Meant to watch “Born on the 4th of July” the other night, but I missed it. Now I think I’ll have to rent it.
Lots of little things going on ’round here… nothing to fantastic though. I start work on Monday. I got tired of sitting on my ass at home while unemployed, but now that I have a job… I don’t wanna go, I wanna stay at home and sit on my ass.
Ever get one of those weeks where you sleep alot, but you don’t seem to be getting any rest? I’m having one.
I’m thinking of redesigning my whole page here… the front anyway… making it a gate to all my other stuff… and linking the pages together better… now that I’m at Xoom, I can make subdirectories, and if you have ever made a webpage before you know how much subdirs help organize the mess.
Well, I still have that rant in the wings… but I’m gonna hold off until I get a chance to properly write it up, when I come home angry from work one day next week… :p
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Theater Review: Black Dog. This is a gem. Patrick Swayze, Meat Loaf, Randy Travis, and a mythical truck driver road legend of the, you guessed it, “Black Dog”. This is not a movie to see alone. Take friends who know how to throw a good one-liner MST3K style and you will have a blast. My personal best was finding ways to work in every one of Meat Loaf’s songs into his scenes, and I almost didn’t work in one of his most famous, Bat Out Of Hell, but he returned in the end (since he is one of the bad guys) and presented the opportunity as one of the actors says “What was that?” after getting rammed by Meat with a truck, “That’s a BAT OUT OF HELL, baby!!” This was a sad, sad movie… we were able to work in all of Patrick’s movies too. Not to mention all the Smokey and the Bandit jokes flying. I’m glad I only payed a dollar to see it, because in the sarcastic words of Kelly, “This is the best movie ever!”
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Today’s Song: First Cool Hive by Moby. It’s on the Scream soundtrack and they used it in some of the early previews for the 5th Element. It’s just a groovin’ tune.
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Today’s Movie: A Clockwork Orange. This is a sick, disguesting, demented film. But I love it anyway. And with Warner Bros. re-releasing new digitally mastered versions of movies for their 75th, I’ll be able to get a new copy of this (mine being worn out of course, I bought it previously viewed).

2 July 1998

Hrmm… I’ve got that rant waiting to go up but I think I’m gonna hold off for now…
I’ve been making alot of progress on my web page… the Pavilion is looking better (graphics still need a little work)… and I’ve been working privately on my North 5 page… but until I can iron out my new work schedule and all that I’m not putting too much into it. But I will.
Short .plan today… this weekend (or next week after work) I’ll rant anew.
I do have a new section that will appear periodically, but will mostly remain empty…
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Theater Review: Armageddon (or as pronounced by a friend of mine, Ar-Mega-Don… he must be fighting Godzilla). This movie kicks some serious ass. If you saw Deep Impact then you know the plot, only without the underground caves to “save humanity”. In DI they had quite a long time before the comet would hit and they trained and stuff. In Armageddon they get 18 days. And I still hold to my original “before viewing” opinion of these 2 movies… DI had better plot and character developement, but Armageddon was a wild ride with better effects and action, and it wasn’t as much of a downer as DI. Armageddon has you cheering at points, but DI never let you get out of the “we’re all doomed” funk until the happy speech at the end. But back to the movie at hand… Armageddon just kicked ass… it was a ride… edge-of-your-seat, eyes-plastered-open film. See it on the big screen in full Dolby Digital Sound… it’s worth it at twice the price.
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Today’s Song: How Soon Is Now by too many people to name. I borrowed some CD’s from people and some of my own and listened to a bunch of different versions of this song, and it’s all good. First there is The Smiths, the original… then I had the Love Spit Love version from the Craft soundtrack… and there is a version by Everclear on compliation CD that I can’t recall the name of at the moment. I know there are more but I just can’t put them all down in my head. Every version of that song is cool.
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Today’s Movie: No movie today… I saw Armageddon last night, what more do you want from me?!?!

1 July 1998

There are 2 things I want to talk about here in my .plan, but one will have to wait until tomorrow (or the next update).
As happens often, my judgement of “good” movies has been called into question. Mostly this time it was triggered by an offhand comment about my selecting Outland as a movie to go rent, and how I was full of it. So I decided that maybe I should fill people in on how it is that I judge movies.
First, never have any expectations. That’s my #1 rule because I find that if I believe the hype of a movie I am ALWAYS let down. The only times the hype ever helped a movie in my opinion were Batman and Independence Day. If you remember the commercials and previews for those movies, they gave absolutely nothing away. Hell, the Batman promos were just the Bat Symbol and the date it was coming out. Only later did they actually show you what Batman or the Joker looked like. The way they handled it, you were salivating whenever you saw a commercial because they new you already wanted to see it (I mean, who didn’t want to see Batman) all they had to do what make you NEED to see it. ID4 did the same thing by never showing the aliens, by only showing fast moving and fleeting shots of the alien crafts. Both movies promos made you feel like you needed to see the movie and kept enough from you that they delivered. Sure you can drive trucks through the plot holes in ID4 but who cares, you were on the edge of your seat anyway eyes plastered wide open. Jurassic Park is one I waffle on in this category because they showed a little more in the previews and commercials, but the fact that most theaters sold 7-day advance tickets for it shows that the campaign worked. A bad example of this, although I liked the movie, Deep Impact. About 80% of the movie was revealed in the trailer, so there wasn’t much to surprise me, I saw it all coming, but this is part of it. I prefer it if I don’t KNOW what the movie is going to tell me before I see it, but even if I know every step they will take I can still enjoy the movie. So to recap this, never have any expectations, or just have them low enough that the movie will exceed (i.e. – if you went to Godzilla looking for a monster to tear up New York, you were happy… if you were looking for an emotional struggle of the people who’s lives were affected by the destruction of the city, you were insanely stupid and hated the movie). I guess the true guide is, go in with basics, not specifics.
Second, don’t think. This one is where people get stuck. Most people have no problem with setting aside expectations of a film, it’s not hard. But to ask them not to think is hard. Now I need to explain myself. A movie is entertainment. Sure, it can contain a deep meaning and be socially important, but there IS a difference between a documentary and a movie. A movies is not just presented facts, it’s a story. I like to think of it as a ride. Let me give you a human example of what I mean. One of my friends, Joel, is a movie-thinker. It’s all he does. He wants to be challenged by a movie. We went and saw The Usual Suspects and The Game. He loved both of them for one reason, they beat him. He couldn’t out-think those movies. They took turns he didn’t expect and they gave him an ending he didn’t see coming and he applauded the movies for doing that. Now, I’ll admit, I’m being hard on him. For romance movies or for “classics” he suspends the “challenge me” attitude. And once a movie beats him once, he always respects it, so seeing The Game again wouldn’t make him hate it since he knows what’s going to happen now, he’ll remember that at one time it did win. My attitude is that the story unfolds as they tell it. I watch, I pay attention. I take notes of things, “He just put the knife in his own pocket and not the desk drawer”. But I don’t try to stay a step ahead, mostly because (to toot my own horn) I’m a smart guy, and I’d win too often if I tried to out-think a movie. The only thing that can ruin a movie for me storywise is if they say “Ah, remember! I put the knife in my pocket!” but they never showed it, either because it was edited or because it was left out on purpose (because otherwise you would have figured it out). Other than that though, I sit back at let the movie pull me along at its pace. That’s what I mean by “don’t think”. Don’t try to win. Let the movie tell you its story.
Third, it’s all you. By this I mean that there are some movies you are just not going to like. If you hate horror movies then don’t go see H2O when it comes out (Halloween: 20 years later, for those not in the know). If you hate disaster films, don’t see Armageddon. Remember what you like and don’t like, and choose accordingly. And if friends are going to see a movie of a type you don’t normally like, tell them, or get them to pay (there is nothing better than being able to say “Well, that movie sucked. At least I didn’t pay for it.”), or just bear it for one of 2 reasons. 1, tastes change, you may like something you previously didn’t. And 2, related to the hype thing, some movies get billed wrong (i.e. – If you saw Event Horizon what you saw was a haunted house movie in space, but all the commercials were pushing it as a SCI-FI suspense thriller, email me if you still don’t get the distinction and I’ll explain, I guess a better choice would have been to fine one of those “screwball comedies” that make you cry when you see them cause there are only like 2 jokes in the whole movie). So to sum up this one, keep in mind who you are.
Fourth and finally, opinions and assholes. Like the old saying goes, everybody has one. Remember that. You hate a movie, fine, that’s cool, say it, say it all you want. But don’t try to tell me, or anyone else, the I didn’t like it either. I say I like it, that means I like it. If you care and ask I’ll be more than happy to tell you why I liked it (I watch a movie called The Stoned Age once every couple of weeks cause, damn, that movie is just funny as shit). And I’ll be sure to ask you why you hated it. But never, ever presume that you can change my mind by repeatedly saying “That movie blew! It sucked ass!” or even “That was the best movie ever!”, the only way you can move me is to show me why I should move and allow me to move on my own, pushing just makes me push back (and most people are the same way).
That’s it… the “Jason Pace Patented Movie Viewing Policies”… Don’t expect more than the basics, don’t try to out-think the movie, remember who you are, and that your view is your “opinion”. And keep in mind throughout all of this, it’s just a movie. If you rent a movie I recommend and hate it, email me and tell me why you didn’t like it, but don’t expect a refund.
I guess I should also throw in as an after note, that some movies are viewed with a purpose, to see one scene or for a particular special effect or for an overall mood and not a specific story, and that should also be kept in mind in reading my recommendations.
Another long one… told you it would happen again… and I’ve got another that it in the wings…
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Today’s Song: anything by Seven Mary Three. That’s not a song, take it literally. I’ve got both American Standard and Rock Crown in the player today and I stop every 2 hours to hear the local radio station play the new one (if you know when the release date is, email me). They rock… they roll… they are damn good… every albums gets better. I should also say, I guess, that I feel the same way about Better Than Ezra as I’ve got Deluxe and Friction, Baby in the player as well. I think SMT is coming to town soon, gotta check the TicketMaster page (all venues in Atlanta are TM venues).
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Today’s Movie: Dogfight. I forgot how good this movie is. I watched Nick of Time again because I was feeling like it, and then decided to take on something a little more dramatic, so I popped in Dogfight. If you haven’t seen it, here’s the lowdown. River Phoenix plays a marine who is about to ship out to Japan right near the beginning of Vietnam (the real fighting hasn’t started yet, it’s still just “military assistance”). He and his buddies have what is called a Dogfight. It’s a party where everyone throws $50 into the pot, the dance hall, food and drinks are paid for out of that and the winner gets the rest ($100). What’s the contest, bring the ugliest date. River was always good in his roles, even the cheesy ones like in The Explorers, and Lili Taylor does a great job as the woman he gets involved with. Damn good movie. Go see it.

28 June 1998

Well, I missed a few days… but I have an excuse… My dog ate my employment application.
Actually, I now have a job… Seagull Software. I start that on July 6th, so next weekend is my last “free” weekend. Not that I’ll be working weekends, but it’ll be the last weekend that isn’t followed by getting up on Monday morning.
Now that job hunting is over, what am I gonna do now… I already decided that all my free time from here on out will be focusing on projects for North 5. First and foremost being the web page. Then I’ll start working on other things…
I’m not usually one to quote myself, but I said something that was actually pretty nifty the other night… while out drinking on Friday at the Ugly Mug Pub, I just casually said to a couple of fellow gamers from DoS, “You know that you have been spending too much time playing on-line games when you refer to being drunk as lag.” Friday night I didn’t get drunk… but on Saturday, hehe… I went to a party / pool tournament, what follows is a chronicle of the games last night:
First off, I playing some practice games against Frank.. nice guy, decent pool player, but he doesn’t play his shots with the next one in mind, meaning he doesn’t line up shots too well.. Anyhow, first game went to him when I scratched while trying to sink the 8, and the second game he still had 5 balls on the table when I dropped the 8 for the win. After that Derek and I started a game that was going pretty evenly, but we never finished because the tourney began.
I was told in the beginning of the evening that the man to beat was Austin, of the 5 tourneys they had held, he had won 3. So of course when we drew numbers for the games, he was in my bracket. Not my first game, but in my bracket. My first game was against Robby, and I almost lost. He was up with only the 14 left on the table and I had 5 balls out there. He missed a shot and I got lucky as hell by ending my turn everytime leaving him no shot on the 14. Slowly I worked down the table, and his last shot of the game, he left me set up to drop my last ball and then the 8. After almost losing it, I pulled back and won. I decided it was time to start drinking.
My next game, as luck would have it was against Pete, ForceTen of Clan DoS, and we were fighting out to see who would play Austin in the semi-final round. The game was going easy enough with Pete and I both sinking a ball or two, but I hadn’t drunk nearly enough to be good yet, so I was nervous. Then Pete dropped the 8 in by accident and took himself out of the game. At this point I think the last 3 or 4 games had ended that way.
Now was the semi-finals, me versus the legendary Austin, and I was on my 7th or 8th drink and fading fast, time to get nasty. = ) The game was normal enough, I took the break and we both traded off getting balls down, but then he took a lead and got about 3 balls ahead of me. With only the 6 on the table, he started chasing it around never quite getting it to drop in a pocket. In the end, he missed a shot on the 6 and set me up perfect for my last couple shots. The king is dead, long live the king. hehe. I’ll admit, I got lucky here. I really didn’t think I had a chance, but with the cops hangin’ around outside deciding whether or not to come in looking for minors drinking (of which their were none) and the hosts flipping out because I think they suspected a person or two to be holding (if you don’t know, don’t ask), I would guess that Austin was a little off his game. Besides, I have always been of the opinion that even when you know you can win, you should lose every now and then to keep the odds up. = )
For the finals, I was playing Scott. The game was going evenly when out of my drunken haze I had a moment of clarity and dropped 3 balls in a row and took the lead. We played back and forth a little but finally I whittled down the table and dropped my last ball. I had a nice setup on the 8, but it’s one of those shots where if you sink the 8, it’s great, but if you go a couple degrees off the mark, you scratch.
I got $43 for second place.
I must give out kudos to Kelly and Sean… they throw a kick-ass shindig.. I’m just a little upset that I missed the female, naked body-shots because I was playing pool. Next time I’ll know better and lose in the first round like Eric (D’oh!! hehehe).
I am also very glad that I am one of those people that just don’t get hang-overs…
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Today’s Song: Hey Man Nice Shot by Filter for all the obvious reasons.. this song really needed to get played during the tourney.
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Today’s Movie: The Outsiders. This was on TV during the party… I love this movie. See it.

23 June 1998

Today seems short. Had a good interview today, maybe a job will come of it. I like them. They seem to like me. Decent pay, good benefits. Here’s to hoping, should hear from them again to-morrow.
After that I had some… bizarre job calls. Atlanta has one of the largest (if not THE largest) IT job markets in the nation, yet people keep calling, talking about jobs out of state, and even with my resume on 4 different job boards and talking to a dozen or more placement agencies, I can’t seem to get very many people to hear me out around here. Though I must say, if someone from Florida, say the Tampa/Clearwater area, were to call with a job offer, I wouldn’t turn them down. 🙂
Anyhow, now to today’s tale… about 2 1/2 weeks ago, on a Friday night, my watchband broke. No big deal. It’s happened before. The following Monday, I had an interview. I didn’t feel like getting a new watchband, so I searched my room and found an old watch I hadn’t worn in awhile. It looked better for interview purposes anyway, it’s gold with a brown band as opposed to the other which was a black plastic sports watch. So, I put it on and notice the battery is dead. I head to the store on my way to the interview and get a new one. So today, 2 weeks later, I’m walking into the building where I have my interview today and this guys asks me what time it is… simple enough, I look at my watch and then kind of give him this puzzled look as I say, “I don’t know.” It seems that my watch had devoured the battery, because it was dead again. I even fiddled with it to see if maybe it just wasn’t contacting fully in the watch. But while I was sitting, waiting for the interview, and during the whole process (I was interviewed by 6 people, and only 6 because the 7th guy was on an important call) I kept thinking about the watch, trying to figure out where and when it had gone dead. After a while of thought, it occurred to me that the last time I had looked at my watch was when I had put the battery in and set the time and made sure it was running, which means I looked at it again maybe twice in the next 20 minutes to see if the hands were still moving. In 2 weeks I hadn’t looked at my watch, not once. Even when I put it on and take it off, I don’t look at it, not the time anyway. I always just grab it off the dresser and put it on, or unband it and toss it on the dresser. It even occurred to me that 4 days ago, on Friday the 19th, I had asked someone else what the time was at the movie theater, when I myself was wearing a watch. It just seems odd to me… because I know that I used to look at my watch all the time… back when I was working. I don’t mean to say that in 2 weeks I hadn’t looked at a clock… no… I have my alarm clock so I know when to leave the house to get where I’m headed by the time I’m supposed to be there, and I’ve checked the time on the TV so I know when to change the channel to catch my favorite shows, all while I’m wearing a watch. In any event, all this just kept me thinking all day… about time… and at about 1pm today, just as I was reaching home (with a new watch battery in pocket) it finally dawned on my what had changed to make me not use my watch. A subtle difference in my life… I no longer wanted out. Whenever I use a clock today, or ask what time it is, is because I have a time to be somewhere or I’m waiting for something to begin… 6 months ago, while I was working at my last job, I looked at my watch all the time because I wanted to know when I could leave. I was counting down to ends instead of beginnings… Needless to say, I am much happier these days than I was 6 months ago. I guess the lesson here is, if you are counting the minutes to get “out” as opposed to the minutes to get “in”, then maybe it’s time the situation changed.
Well, that was long… I’m sure it’ll happen again…
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Today’s Song: Girlfriend by Matthew Sweet… just before getting to my interview today this song came on the radio… good tune… great vibe… brought me up to the level of energy I needed for the interview.
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Today’s Movie: Nick of Time. While my head was spinning with time today, I pulled this movie out of my archives and watched it again. Pretty good film. I like the idea of a movie filmed in “real-time”. And Christopher Walken is always a plus.

22 June 1998

Well, finally getting the hang of dealing with GeoCities… the watermark they put on the page is cool, but that huge GeoGuide is kinda… well… huge. But I put is on my “Thanks” page so since it exists, maybe I won’t see the GeoPop again (that’s the little GeoCities Ad window that pops up, email me if you see it and tell me where).
Got a little done on Logan5’s Gaming Pavilion. I’m not totally happy with the colors… but maybe when I’m finished it’ll look better.
Oh… and I’m still looking for a job. I have an interview tomorrow for a job I don’t want, but at this point, a job is a job is a job. Money is money, and I need money.
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Today’s Song: The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe… “When I was young I knew everything…” I am by no means old… but even at 23 I’m beginning to see this alot… all that I thought I knew comes into question eventually… It’s that childhood feeling of immortallity that I think I miss most. And on the note of growing older and learning more I’m throwing in a bonus song of the day: Against the Wind by Bob Seger. “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.” If it doesn’t hit you, read it again…. think on it awhile.
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Today’s Movie: Watch It. While I’m on the roll of spitting out quotes that mean either nothing or everything in the right light, this movie is good, and it’s got one of my favorite quotes. This guy meets a girl, they get together a bit, and he tells her he’s temporary and when summer comes he may be moving on. So she pushes off and gets back together with her old boyfriend (the guy’s childhood friend) who is a total louse and treats her bad, cheats on her. Anyway, the guy winds up at her front door one night and she goes into this long narrative about how he rejected her and that if he’s feeling lost now it’s his own fault. The whole time he’s quiet, until she finishes. She says, “Well… what do you have to say?” His line, the one that I like, “I don’t know that I don’t love you.” And he walks off… You may not agree, but I like that line, to me it says alot. Anyhow, it’s a good movie… I just wish I could find a group of my friends who would be willing to play the game they play in the movie.