What am I doing here? I don’t know.
Why do I act this way? I don’t know.
Where is all this headed? I don’t know.
For a change, let me tell you what I know.
I know that I’m alive, but just barely so.
I control my feelings, and just can’t let go.
You ask me how I feel, and I just can’t say.
Because I’m just as empty as I was yesterday.
Ever since she broke my heart, I’ve been dead.
I’ve done all my living from within my head.
Some say I’ve got to try to rejoin reality.
But from where I stand it doesn’t hold a place for me.
I can’t see my future and I don’t want my past.
Can’t go on this way, don’t know how long I’ll last.
I heard some advice I just might take the other day.
They said it’s better to burn out than to fade away.
I stand on the table and I beat my chest.
I do all I can to stand out from the rest.
Even if in the end it takes the death of me,
I will finally reach my goal of immortality.
-6 Dec 1994