Silicon Memories

Broken glass
Embedded in
My foot.

Blood on the sand.

Tinted green
Of discarded joy
Has cut me deep,
And I leave
Amounts of me
Behind.

Blood on the beach.

My life runs out before me
And I see
My memories laid bare.

All my firsts are first to go
First steps, first words, first grade,
First love,
First loss as we drive away,
First tears roll as we wave
Good-bye
My firsts are trailed by my lasts
Last day of school,
Last time I tried to be cool,
Last laugh, last cry, last love,
Last time I tried
Suicide.
Speckled throughout, barely seen,
Is all I’ve left incomplete.
My hopes,
To fall in love again,
To be happy with myself,
To find my place in the world.
My dreams,
To fill my heart with joy,
To pursue my every whim,
To never hurt again.

The tide crawls in
And steals
My hopes, my dreams,
My fears.
My memories washed
Away.

Blood in the water.

I lose myself
In the swirling undertow,
My life mixed with all the rest.
The blood of heroes,
And of villains,
And of all those in between,
The ocean takes us all
And beats us
Against the shore
Indiscriminately.

-5 Feb 1996

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