Category: Random Thoughts

The general category for posts on this blog.

Blipverts

Random Thoughts

One of the things I used to enjoy most about going to see a movie at the theater was the pre-show entertainment. Long ago it was simply some piped in music. Then they upgraded to those movie network things where they would actually play selections from movie soundtracks and on the screen they would project slides with ads for the candy counter, upcoming movies, local businesses where you could take your ticket stub for a discount, and trivia.

The trivia was the clincher for me. Either it was actual questions or those ones where they show you the high school yearbook picture of someone famous and you had to guess who it is. Sometimes they weren’t even entertainment questions.

At the Delk 10 cinema, my theater of choice for a couple of years, one of their auditoriums had the slides mixed up. My younger brother and I went and memorized the mixed up order, and at later visits we would confound the other audience members by yelling out the correct incorrect answers. “Who is the top money winner in professional golf?” “Cooperstown.” What movie is the most recent to sweep the top oscars?” “Tom Kite.” “What city is the location of the baseball Hall of Fame?” “Silence of the Lambs.”

This week I went to see Cars at the theater (I’ll review that later), and noticed that there was no trivia anymore. In fact, their slideshow had been cut down to about maybe twenty slides at most (it is actually a Power Point presentation these days, no more slides). And the music wasn’t real music anymore, it was fifteen to twenty second clips of songs, not even enough to decide if its worth going to the music store to check out the rest of the album. Even worse is that they only had about four of these clips with introductions, so the whole loop only took about ninety seconds to play. Having gotten to the theater with about twenty minutes to spare, it was fairly maddening to hear the same clips over and over, all with a backdrop of the same repeating images.

Did they do this because people’s attention spans have gotten so short?

The movie theater isn’t the only place I’ve noticed the shorter, rapid fire, less involved advertising going on, and it all makes me fear the possible real introduction of blipverts. Fight the power people… demand slower, demand quality, demand better. Faster and shorter isn’t always best, just ask any woman.

My Jeep

Random Thoughts

I have a love hate relationship with my Jeep Cherokee. On the one hand, it was the car I wanted. Of course, at the time of purchase, gas was about $1.19 a gallon. With typical prices of $2.80 a gallon these days I begin to hate my car. In the years that I have owned it (6), we’ve been through a number of things… flat tires, break ins, minor accidents, and the usual tune-ups. About two years ago, it developed a squeek.

Now, having been through squeeks before in other cars, I decided to have someone look at it and tell me where the squeek came from before deciding to fix it. Some squeeks are bad. Some are not so bad. In a previous car, the squeek ended up being a need to replace a $5 plastic fan blade that was part of the airconditioning system. So I had the car checked and… same problem. They fixed the squeek. But there was a side effect. Appearantly, they knocked a wire loose, and from then on sometimes the dashboard would go dead. They looked for the wire, checked the plugs, but ultimately couldn’t find anything to fix, but I could home remedy the problem by banging on the dashboard and it would spring back to life.

About six months ago, the car developed a squeel. The squeel could be stopped by turning off the air conditioning and then turning it back on, so I figure it wasn’t a big deal. Probably another fan blade issue.

Sunday, I’m driving over to Acworth from Duluth, the back way using Pleasant Hill and Arnold Mill. As I’m driving, the dash goes dead and the Check Gauges light comes on. I bang the dash and it all goes back to normal. I cross over 400 at Old Milton, and the light comes on again, only this time the rest of the dash is working fine. We drive for a bit as I look at my gauges. Gas, fine. Battery, fine. Oil, fine. Temperature, fine… no, wait… no… fine… umm… redline!

It was kind of like in the movies. I pulled off the side of the road and popped the hood, steam blowing off the engine. I give it a minute, then check the coolant. Empty. So we call my brother and have him drive over to pick us up and bring some coolant. I’m fuming now because I just got an oil change and they were supposed to check this stuff.

My brother arrives with the coolant, we fill it up and head on our way. All is right with the world again and I’m talking about how I’m going to give those guys a piece of my mind. Then the temperature redlines again. We stop, the coolant is fine, but still its over heating. We give the car a few moments, then head out again.

A little while down the road, redline. Once again I check the coolant and once again its fine. I decide to check everything. The oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid… basically everything with a dip stick or a valve I can open I check. All is a-okay. So we begin to travel yet again. Everything is going great until we start hearing an awful clanging under the car. And of course the temperature redlines again. We finally decide to give up.

Everyone piles into my brother’s girlfriend’s car, a VW Bug Convertible, four people and a dog, and we leave my car to deal with it later.

After dinner with Dad, we borrow one of his cars and the wife and I head to get the Jeep. The plan is to limp the car, which should be fully cooled now, to the Goodyear place not too far away, and leave it for them to inspect and repair the next day. So we get to the Jeep and I start limping it while the wife follows me.

Now, I’ve never been one to treat my car like a person, but somehow the moment felt like a good time to start. Back when I got my white Jeep Cherokee, some people insisted that I name it. The only thing I could think of was “Moby Dick”. So as we drove, I began, for the first time, to talk to Moby (Mr. Dick to strangers). I promised we’d make it better, that the Goodyear guys would fix everything that ailed it. All it needed to do was get there.

Moby almost did it. As I topped the last hill, I felt the engine begin to go. We were a hundred yards from the station and there was only a left turn remaining to go. But I knew that it would quit on me when I made the turn. I was right, and as I slowed to make the turn the engine gave up, along with the power steering, and I fought the wheel to make the left into the shopping center, and then the right into the parking lot of the Chinese place, and Moby finally silently pulled to a stop… with about a hundred feet to go. I tried the key twice and realized that it was no use.

Swept up in the moment, I threw open the door, popped the truck into neutral and began to push and steer. The truck was really heavy, but adrenaline gave me the strength to get it moving, and the power to steer. Across the parking lot we glided, but one more obsticle stood in our way… a small incline and a speed bump. The front tires cleared the bump, but not the rear, and quickly I hopped back into the car and slammed on the breaks.

For one last time, I turned the key and the engire roared to life. Together we made the last fifteen feet into a parking spot, and then I let Moby rest. It had done its best.

Honestly, I figured Moby and I were done, that it’d gone to big junkyard in the sky. However, one water pump, some hoses, new breaks, a transmission, and a head gasket later, and it appears Moby will be sticking around a while longer. And that makes me smile.

It may only get seventeen miles to the gallon, but I still love my Jeep. Hopefully in the near future, I’ll start working from home and more of my time in Moby can be spent enjoying the road.

Madness

Random Thoughts

So, the wife and I have been looking for a house. Again. We started some time last year, but it didn’t work out, then we started again and found nothing. This year we went and looked at a bunch of places but either they were too small, or too damaged.

But about two weeks ago we were told about a house which was just going on the market. A foreclosure. In fact, it was a HUD sale. So we went to see the house and… wow. It was perfect. Following procedures, I got myself preapproved for a loan again, and we put in a bid. See, HUD homes work like this, everyone who is interested fills out some government forms and puts in their best offer. Then HUD closes the bidding, reviews the applications and decides who wins.

We won!

Our House.

June Descends

Random Thoughts

I was doing really good there in May, posting nearly every day, and then June descended on me…

My younger brother got married on the 2nd, and the rehersal was on the 1st. On the 3rd, my wife and I went to look at some houses, one of which we really really like. On the 4th, we made our way to the last day of the Georgia Renaissance Festival and spent most of the day there. On the 5th, I was “on vacation” from my regular job doing work for my actual company (sounds confusing, and it is) and spent a bunch of the day talking to banks. On the 6th, having forgotten to pay rent I had to go get a money order to pay it, and worked yet again for my actual company, put a bid in on the house we like, and went to play trivia at the North River Tavern. On the 7th, I put in another day on the grind at the actual company and finally slowed down enough to watch a couple of movies with the wife (The Family Stone and Mr. Wonderful, it was her night to pick since I made her watch Shocker last time).

The rest of the week looks to continue to be crazy, and on top of all that, we are eagerly awaiting the results of our house bid which should come early next week. So forgive me should I continue to forget to post for a bit. I’ll get back on track soon enough.

Naked People Are Not Evil

Random Thoughts

It’s really weird. In this country, the United States of America, our society seems to think that a child viewing nakedness will be destroyed, scarred for life. But they can watch people be murdered brutally on practically every TV show. Now, of course that is an exaggeration, but the point remains…

Recently, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was re-rated to Mature because you can appearantly hack the game to show no clothes, and the texture artists for the game put nipples on the skin textures (not just the women, the men have nipples too, but you never read that in the articles). Being able to behead people and play soccer with the head… that only makes it a T for Teen. What?

Seriously, I don’t expect people to show eight year olds hardcore pornography, because well, even as an adult I find some of that stuff disturbing, but to hide “boobs” from kids while allowing them to see blood spattered violence just seems oddly hypcritical to me. Gun, bombs, and death are cool, kids, but naked people are evil… or something like that.

A Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Random Thoughts

The wife and I went to breakfast this morning. Now, I am not a breakfast person really… I like cereal, I like bacon, sausage, good hashbrowns or potato cakes, and occasionally pancakes… I hate eggs, which seem to be the staple food of most restaurant breakfast plates. So we go to IHOP because she loves it. I scour the menu. I want to eat something, but not alot of something. Normally, I get the sampler, sub out the eggs for some extra bacon or something, and ask if they can sub out fries for the hashbrowns (IHOP’s are far too greasy and often undercooked in the center of the pile while be overcooked on the edges), but I’m not that hungry and eight dollars is a little much.

I finally spy the kids menu and decide I’ll settle for the grilled cheese with fries and get a side of bacon. $2.99 for the grilled cheese and fries, $2.19 for the bacon. Good deal. Only, the waitress informs me that you must be 12 or under to order from the kids menu. So I ask, “Is there an adult’s grilled cheese?” She tells me there isn’t, but they can make one, only they’ll have to ring it up as a side of toast ($2.19), a side of cheese ($.89), and a side of fries ($2.59)… $5.67 for the exact same meal they will sell for $2.99 to a kid. Add in my bacon I wanted and the meal is $7.86, which is actually more expensive than the sampler that contains twice as much food (two eggs, two bacon, two sausage, two ham, two pancakes, and hashbrowns). Ummm… what?

So I get a burger. I order it plain (as usual), and I even say, “I’d like it plain, with nothing on it.” It comes with lettuce, tomato and mayo. The waitress gives me an eat-shit look when I tell her I wanted it plain, like as if my decision not to eat what I didn’t order was ruining her day. IHOP just lost me as a customer, for life. Let’s hope the wife can forgive me.

Why can`t I use the elevator?

Random Thoughts

“You can’t use the elevator.”
“My friend here is blind.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t use the elevator.”
“Why can’t I use the elevator?”
“Because someone defecated in it.”
“What?”
“Someone defecated in the elevator.”
“When?”
“Two days ago.”

This was the exchange I heard while waiting for the MARTA train to leave the Doraville station this morning. Shortly after that, inside the car was this:

“What did she say?”
“Someone defecated in the elevator.”
“No shit?”
“Just the opposite.”
“Shit.”
“Exactly.”

It put a smile on my face, the second conversation not the first. However, the initial exchange bothered me. Not because someone had appearantly defecated in the elevator, because, well, with homeless people around Atlanta things like that tend to happen (like that one time a guy actually took a crap on the bus…), but the fact that the woman from MARTA knew that it had happened two days ago and was only now being cleaned up.

I understand that everyone deserves a weekend off every now and then, and many businesses don’t operate at all. But I think feces in an elevator might be one of those “emergency, pay the extra $100 to have them come out on the weekend” kind of situations. Instead, appearantly they decided to put up some “Wet Floor” signs and police tape to block off the elevator (the only one at this particular station) for two days so it could be cleaned up sometime today without having to spend any extra cash. I’m sure any people in wheel chairs appreciated it.

Recommend Me Some Books

Random Thoughts

I am always on the look out for stuff to read, but browsing the bookstores sometimes just isn’t enough. So, I want you (yeah, all like five of you that read my blog) to recommend a book to me. There are some requirements and limitations, so if you want, read on:

A) The book needs to stand alone. Don’t recommend me anything other than part one of a series, and don’t recommend a book that starts a series but doesn’t itself contain a full story.

2) I like Sci-Fi, but not real dry science Sci-Fi, not hard Sci-Fi. I like Fantasy, but not real crazy out there Fantasy, I like it at least partly based in reality in the sense that it has humans or human like people and not everyone is slinging magic all around to solve everything. I like Horror, I prefer my vampires un-gay (Anne Rice, I hate you). I don’t like “sex” books, if the plot revolves around people having sex and contains repeated descriptions of engorged members and the like, it is just not a turn on to me. And while I like superhero books, don’t suggest them unless its really cool because, as you can see on my library, I have a few of those in my future reading stack already. I also like funny, but not really politics-funny.

D) I’d prefer books that aren’t new releases, if only because I plan to look for them at used book stores or in paperback. I don’t want to spend a fortune.

So, with that in mind, if you feel like it, reply with a book and the reason you liked it (don’t spoil it, of course).

Nightmares

Random Thoughts

Since I was very young, whatever age I was in the fourth grade, I have had nightmares. When they first started, I would, as is often depicted in movies, awake in a cold sweat, sometimes even screaming. The nightmares ranged from monsters in my closet to alien abductions to demons and ghosts. As I got older, they got worse, and more frequent. What started as a fairly rare thing became almost nightly, and then it was nightly.
One time, in high school, I tried to avoid my nightmares by not sleeping. That lasted about three days, then I succumbed. After moving out on my own at 19, I tried it again. Seven days without sleep, and I started to halucinate. My nightmares, not being able to torment my sleep, came to get me while I was awake. At ten days, I was literally out of my mind. Somewhere, stuffed in a box in my closet, I have pages of … text that I wrote. I don’t remember writing that stuff, in fact I can’t even read most of it. Its largely not in English. But what I can read of it confirms to me what I do remember, I was scared, really really scared. After ten days awake I finally passed out. I slept for two whole days and had to make many apologies for missing work.

Since then, I still have nightmares, well, what other people would call nightmares I guess. However, they have lost one quality: they don’t scare me any more. Night after night, I dream of apocalyptic worlds where zombies eat human flesh, worlds overrun by powermad dictators and their ruthless armies, jungles overrun by monsters and beasts. I dream of death and destruction, often involving people I know and love, and every morning when I wake up, I wake up calm. In ways, I have even come to find comfort in my dreams. In zombie filled cities, I team up with other refugees, friends and family, and together we fight the undead. They die, I die, and in the dream the emotions are there, its not like I’m some automoton just mowing down zombies. But the emotions of my dreams no longer translate to my sleeping body.

Why do I bring this up? Ever since I “broke” my nightmares, its hard to keep those thoughts out of my head. Its not as if I am some kind of mental defective, and I’d never actually act on or try to carry out the things I imagine. But I’ll be standing on the street and see someone walk in to traffic, at which point I’ll imagine them being hit by a car or truck, or that having stepped out into the open the monsters or zombies see him and move in for the kill. The good side of this is that I never lack for things to write about. The bad side is that I often can’t stay focused in one line of imagination long enough to craft it into a story worth selling. So I have these folders on my PC and stacks of paper in boxes and drawers full of short snippets, vignettes, that I want to use but just can’t seem to make sense of…

Anyway, enough rambling out of me.

My Wife is Afraid of Jell-O

Random Thoughts

No. Seriously. Perhaps afraid is not the right word, but it is the word she uses. Me, I love Jell-O. One of the few great things I have found in this life is Jell-O with fruit in it. When I go to the store and they are running a buy one get one special on the Del Monte fruit cups in Jell-O, I usually buy four or six 4-packs. Lime Jell-O with pineapples in it is my favorite.

My wife does not like Jell-O because of the slogan, which since she was TV deprived as a child, she did not know it was the slogan, she thought it was just something her mother said. “There’s always room for Jell-O!” To me, as a child of television, Bill Cosby saying those immortal words are ingrained in my brain and will likely be one of the phrases I repeat as the dementia of old age sets it. To her, it made Jell-O seem like some dark magical food that would fit in your stomach no matter how full you already were. So, when I eat Jell-O she usually looks at me disgusted and sometimes even edges away from me slowly as if the Jell-O is going to muscle its way out of the cup and try to force itself down her throat.

I suspect that one day I’ll find a sound clip of Cosby saying his phrase and put it on my phone as her personal ringtone so that every time she calls I will be reminded of what a loon she is. And she will hit me.