Category: Random Thoughts

The general category for posts on this blog.

Between Cups

Random Thoughts

There is this commerical for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups that talks about the feeling you have between cups. They’ve been doing angles like things for advertising for a while now… “How do you eat a Reese’s?”, etc, etc…

Anyway, the new one focuses on how people feel between the cups. The woman in the commercial says she feels “contentment”. So it got me to thinking… why not just eat one cup, then put the other one in the freezer? Eternal contentment!

It probably doesn’t work that way, but its nice to dream…

Taxes

Random Thoughts

Its getting to be that time of year again… Taxes.

I really hate being a 1099 contractor. I’m not too bad with money, I never really spend more than I have. However, I’m not good at saving money. Since my taxes aren’t withheld by my employer, I tend to spend what I have. Then it comes to tax time and I owe a huge chunk of money.

Long ago I used to complain about W-2s… never again. I pray for the days when I can file W-2s again and kick these 1099s to the curb.

Anyway, I was just planning out how I was gonna pay my money this year and it was on my mind, so now its on my weblog.

Letting Go

Random Thoughts

Normally if you ask me about current events, I’ll have no idea. I really hate the news because most of the time it bad. Horrible people doing horrible things to each other.

But I’ve been following Terri Schiavo’s case for a while now. If you don’t know, the short of it is that Terri had a heart attack 15 years ago, during which her brain was deprived of oxygen for a number of minutes resulting in massive brain damage. Most of the doctors agree that the damage to her brain is so severe that even though she does respond to some stimuli, that she is in a permanent vegatative state, never to recover beyond that of about an eleven month old. After a period of time, Terri’s husband said that while no living will existed Terri had expressed a desire not to be hooked up to tubes and machines indefinately. So he decided, after what I’m sure was a long period of serious deep thinking and probably a considerable amount of prayer, to have the machines turned off and let her pass away.

Terri’s parents don’t agree. So, for many years now, they have been fighting. Terri’s husband wants to let her go. Terri’s parents refuse to admit she is beyond help. There has been a considerable amount of legal tug-o-war in this. Terri’s feeding tube has been removed and replaced a number of times.

A little over two years ago, my mother was brought home from the hospital. The cancer had spread, and a complication of the cancer and another surgery’s healing left her unable to pass food completely and consistantly. They had gambled to stop the cancer treatment to let the other surgery heal, and the cancer took that opportunity to spread into the lymph nodes. There was nothing more medical science could do. She came home to pass away surrounded by her family. In the end, I hope she was aware of us and our love for her, but unaware of the pain of the cancer and death.

If anyone were to ask me if I had ever seen someone starve to death, the answer would be ‘yes’. If they were to ask if I would have preferred her to live unconscious for 15 years unable to communicate with anyone, trapped in a body she couldn’t control… the answer is ‘no’.

My mother is going to miss my wedding, and every other important day of the rest of my life. But sometimes in life, you have to be willing to let go when its better for the other person.

The AXE Effect

Random Thoughts

My fiancee did the grocery shopping this week, and I was in need of deodorant. Normally I just pick myself up a stick of Degree or something, whatever is on sale. But she picked up a stick of AXE. Now, I’d seen the commercials, and I warned her before I used it, but she said it was okay.

Well, the drive to work was fine, but walking from the parking lot to the office I was already fending off the women. I eventually had to break into a run and get inside. The food court area was tough, and I lost my jacket to the mob. And at the security desk is where it finally happened, she wouldn’t let me past until I allowed her to service me.

Zipping up my pants I quickly stepped into the nearest elevator. Damn, occupied. The other two gentlemen with us looked uncomfortable as the woman attacked me. Three more stops just from the elevator to my desk. That’s when the line started to form.

After a while I really needed to get some work done, so I started taking the women in twosomes and threesomes, eventually moving up to foursomes by mid-afternoon. Finally five o’clock rolled around and I stole down the fire stairs. Twenty-two floors just to avoid them.

I got lucky and made it to my car without incident, and once inside with the windows up and the air conditioning set on internal air, I was safe.

Monday’s going to be rough.

(None of this really happened. Turns out the AXE Effect is just smelling like deodorant.)

Defying Logic Daily

Random Thoughts

There are times where I run into a person who utters words that lead me to believe that it is by sheer luck alone that they continue to survive. Today, I was asked to have a report run and email it to a desired individual “on demand” without any user interaction.

Now, I’m a pretty good programmer. And on a report, I can give someone a field and a button, or even a drop down list and a button, that allows them to specify a person or email address and then send the report when the button is clicked. I can even set up a program to run at intervals, like daily, and execute the report and email it on schedule. But I have yet to actually find a way to program telepathy… if I could, then the middle manager who asked for a report to be emailed on demand to different people based on his mood would be out of a job.

The Truth Isn’t Out There

Random Thoughts

We’ve all heard the stories, now its time to hear the truth.

Time and again, stories like this one grace the world’s newspapers. Dolphins selflessly saving people from danger, often from sharks.

It’s all a ruse. Dolphins want safety for humans about as much as the sharks want to eat them. Each of these so-called “rescues” is in fact a failed attempt to capture a human.

These dolphin terrorists seek nothing more than to kidnap unsuspecting people to use them as bargaining chips in their fight against the oppression of zoos and marine biology centers.

How is it that these sharks find people anyway? The dolphins tell them. And do these dolphins ever notify the authorities? They do not. Instead they swim, circling the victims until one of our many Navy or Coast Guard security vessels happens upon them. Then its all squeeks and cute tricks to buy time for an escape and to confuse their captives.

People “saved” by dolphins unanimously agree that they were in fact rescued by the dolphins, completely unaware of the reality, the gravity of their situation. They continue on with their lives regailing stories about the dolphins, and spreading the propaganda of their kindness.

Recently though, scientists have cracked the code of the dolphin speech. Their plans are clear: to obtain and hold human captives to exchange them for the release of their brothers and sisters languishing in captivity.

Make no mistake people of America… Dolphins hate freedom.

I hate thread

Random Thoughts

Specifically, I hate little balls of thread, the kind that come from my clothes and fall to the floor and lay there so patiently looking exactly like a dead bug, but that I know is not a dead bug, and when I reach down to pick it up makes me scream like a little girl because not only was is not a little ball of thread but it also was not a dead bug, and instead was a live bug which managed to skitter halfway up my arm before I managed to swat it to the ground and jump away doing the “Oogie Boogie” dance as the goosebumps form all up my arms and back.

I hate thread.

Crossing the Great Divide

Random Thoughts

There is a joke I love to tell… “One of the worst things while driving is when some guy gets right up on your bumper, you know, right in your tail pipe, and he just stays there. You are driving over the speed limit already but this guy is right on your ass. Burns me up. Worse than that though are those people who drive so slow, I mean, you have to get right up on their bumper to get them to move!”

The funniest thing about that joke is that everyone laughs, and at the same time a good 75% or better of your audience is only laughing to cover up the fact that they know they are guilty.

Because of jokes like that, and my desire to avoid as much irony in my personal life as I can… hey, irony is great when you catch other people, but being caught in an ironic situation yourself just blows most of the time… I try to avoid tailgating people, people who tailgate and other like situations while driving.

One that I cannot avoid though are the people who block intersections. First off, when you take the driver’s exam, one of the rules you study and one of the questions you have to answer covers this. Don’t block intersections. Now, the main reason for this is if an ambulance, fire truck, or police car need to go through and you are blocking it… well, lets just say you wouldn’t like to get to heaven and find out that the reason you died was because some schmuck blocked an intersection and delayed EMS in reaching you in time… nor would you like to die and go to hell and find out that you are there because you causes the death of some very nice people because you needed to get to the mall 30 seconds sooner than if you had just waited through the next light.

And that’s the crux of what I don’t get… most traffic could be avoided if people just stopped thinking about themselves and thought about the bigger picture. Traffic sucks, but its a fact of driving. By blocking the intersection all you are doing is making it suck more because while you hang there all the cross traffic can’t go. You might think to yourself, “This traffic sucks so I need to take every advantage I can to get where I’m going.” But do you know why the traffic sucks? Its because other schmucks are blocking other intersections.

So, to rectify the situation… step 1, learn your car. Is your car 10 feet long? 20? step 2, learn to spot length from a distance. You know, you don’t have to be spot on, but if your car is 20 feet long and there is only 6 inches of space on the other side of the intersection, 20 feet clearly does not fit into 6 inches. step 3, don’t pull into the intersection until there is enough room or traffic movement to accommodate your car. It’s actually pretty simple, if the cars aren’t moving and there isn’t enough room, don’t go. If there is enough room, go. If the room is a bit short but you can clearly see cars moving and the light is green, go. And just because the car in front of you can make it doesn’t mean you can. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose… and sometimes you have to wait a whole minute for the next light. Turn up the radio and enjoy the wait.

All was quiet…

Random Thoughts

… on New Year’s Day.

2004 is over. Time to put it on the shelf.

So what did we learn?

Well, I learned that life does, indeed, go on. A year after my mother’s death and I’m still here. It still hurts, but the days are getting easier.

I learned that parking downtown is, in fact, dangerous. I really need to just stop believing in the kindness of strangers. Not only did my car get broken into twice and my stereo stolen, but a man who claimed to see it happen fled the scene when I asked him to stay and describe the perpatrator to the cops. The roadside emergency kit I carry in the back of my car was stolen in my own parking lot when the door got left unlocked.

On the other hand, I did learn that some people can be nice, even though they might be stupid. I ordered a gift for Jodi for Christmas. It was very close to the holiday and it was going to be risky getting it in time. Now, lets say I live in an apartment who’s number is 9921… the FedEx driver tried to deliver it to 9291. Those people weren’t home. Instead of taking the package back to the distribution center, he decided to give it to my (their) neighbor in 9290. I guess he was trying to be nice… but see, I live in building 99, and building 92 it 7 buildings away, those people don’t know me… and appearantly are too stupid to read the address. When she gave it to the people in 9291, they read it and didn’t open it… but they also made no attempt to get it to me. The FedEx website listed that the package was delivered to the front office and my signature was on file… of course, he never actually went to the office. Meanwhile, I’m going to war with the front office accusing them of losing my gift (which wasn’t exactly cheap). I apologized to them once a non-idiot at FedEx customer service told me that the website was wrong and told me where my package was (9290). After that it was just a matter of tracking people down. In the end, I got the package… three days after Christmas. I guess you could say I learned that FedEx blows and that stupid people, while nice, are in fact stupid.

I learned that I buy too much crap and have put a stop to it.

And I suppose that’s about it… Not a very fruitful year I guess… mostly it is what in business would call a “rebuilding year” … 2005, here I come.

The Night Before…

Random Thoughts

You know… usually this time of year I put up special Christmas logos and decorations on the site, but I’ve been so busy with work, family, and actually doing stuff for and of the season I just haven’t had time.

Its Christmas Eve, and I’m about to head over to my father’s house to spend a few hours with my family. Jodi and I will return home tonight, and spend some time together, then tomorrow she’ll work, I’ll clean house and run other errands, and then we’ll return to my father’s for Christmas Day.

Tonight, I hope that each and every person out there has someone… a husband, a wife, a friend, a lover, a father, a mother, a daughter or son… someone to share the night with… and to everyone, whether they have someone or not, Merry Christmas.