Archive for Random Thoughts

2 October 1999

Well, I finally got just about everything done on this page. At least enough that I feel comfortable killing the old page dead and putting up my first .plan file in the new format.
Not much to say today, but I should have something to say tomorrow. For now, I need to finish up, sign off, and head out. I’m going to meet someone I haven’t met before for a friendly movie and maybe some dinner. Or perhaps this person will turn out to be some sort of Internet stalker and I’m just heading out to my own demise.
I’ll report in tomorrow… or maybe I won’t.

13 March 1999

I got an email the other day, and some comments exchanged between friends last night have inspired the following:
I had heard about the GirlFriend line of software for a while and so I decided to install GirlFriend version 1.0. Getting to learn new software is always interesting and the GirlFriend line included many new features that other lines like BestFriend, FamilyMember, and Acquaintance never had. I really enjoyed the Kissing algorithms, and my introduction to the SexualIntercourse plug-ins were quite good. I kicked myself for waiting so long to buy into the GirlFriend line. My system seemed to really take to the whole thing really well, except for the extreme stress that GirlFriend put on my system’s resources but this is part of any GirlFriend program. I hadn’t been aware of it, but apparently the programmers had messed up during the development of version 1.0 and it had alot of broken code. After fighting with it to work properly I finally decided to delete it from my system.
Disillusioned with the GirlFriend line right off the bat, I had intended to wait a while before the next purchase, but after installing one of my many versions of BestFriend, I learned that it included a copy of GirlFriend 2.0, so I immediately began using the extra features of the GirlFriend 2.0 package. However, this version of BestFriend also had a copy of PreMed, so shortly after starting using the GirlFriend 2.0 features, PreMed became enabled and GirlFriend 2.0 was disabled.
Quickly, I went and bought a copy of GirlFriend 3.0. This version had a really good PassionateKissing feature, but I learned that it wasn’t a full version of GirlFriend as it didn’t enable the SexualIntercourse plug-ins without the purchase of a Commitment Agreement. I didn’t mind so much as my system seemed to really be compatible with the version of GirlFriend. But then my MindReader protection software failed and allowed a copy on NewFriend with a hidden GirlThief worm. The worm corrupted my copy of GirlFriend, which then uninstalled itself along with NewFriend which had been upgraded to NewBoyFriend.
A little while later I was pleased to discover that GirlFriend 2.0 had become re-enabled. I began to explore all the upgrades that had been made to this version while it had been off, but unlike version 3.0, 2.0 included a NonCommittal Agreement and a SeeOtherPeople browser. Because of this, during an execution of “A Gathering Of Old Friends” by PartySoftware I began fooling around with a copy of GirlFriend 4.0. It included a much speedier run time and immediate access to all of its Plug and Play features. Of course, getting to all the SexualIntercourse plug-ins and special add-ons so quickly is probably how I overlooked the flaws in this version of GirlFriend, but once these were apparent, I quickly uninstalled version 4.0, and closed the SeeOtherPeople browser.
With its PreMed program now complete, my copy of GirlFriend 2.0 upgraded itself to the full MedSchool package and then uninstalled itself from my system. I decided then that perhaps I should take that wait between GirlFriend versions that I had intended before and perhaps wait for a more stable version. During this time, a friend suggested that maybe the GirlFriend line was incompatible with my system, which made some sense, and they suggested that I might consider trying BoyFriend. It wasn’t really appealing to me. I had seen BoyFriend in the stores and installed on some other guys systems, and I had never really been impressed, I was still drawn to the GirlFriend series even though it often seemed to be more trouble than good. For a moment, I considered it, but when several key system components failed and my FoodStorage threatened a core dump, I became adamant that BoyFriend was not the answer.
I took some time off and reformatted my system. I reinstalled all the essentials and made sure that I didn’t install anything resembling the GirlFriend software packages until I felt my system was ready.
After some time, I saw a copy of GirlFriend version 5.0 and toyed with the idea of installing it. Finally I did, but since I hadn’t done my RealityCheck processor upgrade I didn’t see that it was really a trojan horse hiding a copy of Jealousy. Jealousy causes a GirlFriend package to install on a system in a minimal state in an attempt to migrate its full installation to a more attractive system when this other system realizes that it needs this version of GirlFriend. After a few short weeks, GirlFriend 5.0 uninstalled itself and attempted to install JustFriends, but by this time I had performed the processor upgrade and realized this to be an attempt to just path holes that the uninstall of GirlFriend had caused in my Ego kernel, and I prevented the install and chose to patch the kernel myself.
Almost a year later with my system fully upgraded with CollegeDegree, NewJob, and SelfEsteem, and my Ego kernel fully patched, I was introduced to GirlFriend 6.0 through an ad in NewBestFriend. GirlFriend 6.0 was a delight. It communicated well with all of my other programs and integrated comfortably with my system. The only problem with GirlFriend 6.0 is that it turned out to be a remote application. Sometimes the connection to this version of GirlFriend was fuzzy. I attempted to resolve this with a visit to GirlFriend 6.0’s server to make a direct connection. This did help, but after returning home, the fuzzy connection continued and I realized that it was because my LongDistanceRelationship network adapter was faulty. Rather than try to fix or replace it, I decided just to uninstall GirlFriend 6.0. Oddly enough, after an initial problem, I found that StillFriends (a companion piece to JustFriends) had been installed and was working over the same LDR connection that was failing for GirlFriend.
Almost immediately I installed GirlFriend 7.0. My new experience with version 6.0 had gotten me back into desiring possibly permanently installing a copy of GirlFriend, and that’s why 7.0 seems so strange to me I guess. It included a feature called TakeThingsSlow which was enabled by default. I didn’t mind this so much as my system was compatible with slow running programs. I haven’t mentioned this so far because it has never been significant, but I will now. Each copy of GirlFriend includes a collection of other small environment programs that run in conjunction with it, the most important and influential of these are the multiple copies of HerFriend. HerFriend will usually always retain its initial configuration, but sometimes can be upgraded to OurFriend, or even in rare cases to MyFriend (which in turn can be upgraded to BestFriend). On occasion, copies of HerFriend will be incompatible with your copies of BestFriend that are running, but even if they are troublesome, they can coexist. With GirlFriend 7.0 all the usual copies of HerFriend started to show up in my active task list, but it seemed that only some of the were aware that they were running on my system, and even less seems to know that GirlFriend 7.0 was installed. 7.0, as I now understand it, has a stealth feature which my system cannot control, and it can enable and disable at will. Currently this feature is enabled and I am giving warning messages when my system or any of MyFriends make any mention to HerFriends of anything alluding to the installation of GirlFriend 7.0 on my system.
At this point now, I’m not even sure that 7.0 is still installed on my system, I see less of HerFriends active in my task list, and it seems like I can go for a week without seeing GirlFriend itself active on my system. I’ve been thinking of uninstalling GirlFriend 7.0, but then I also wonder if it hasn’t already uninstalled itself. A friend suggested that version 7.0 may have been vaporware and that what I have seen may have only been a demo, which would explain the disabling of all features after a number of days evaluation.
I’ve been looking at various copies of GirlFriend 8.0, but as with the purchase of any version of GirlFriend there are many different releases, each with its own level of install, system requirements, and of course, features, plug-ins, add-ons and dozens of compatibility issues, so choosing a release of GirlFriend 8.0 may take a while. Luckily, every copy of GirlFriend includes a FirstDate install that allows you to preview many of the features of the program before purchasing, and many do include a CasualDating patch to the FirstDate install that allows the preview to be extended. But in all my looking around at GirlFriend 8.0, I keep going back to thinking that maybe I might try to reinstall GirlFriend 6.0, but I only think that would work if I upgrade my LDR adapter and purchase a copy of Forgiveness v1.1 which I’m told will counter the effects of the Stupidity virus that has infected my system’s installation of a previous versions of GirlFriend.
Well enough of all this, I think I’m taking my system out tonight and running the AlcoholicBeverage routine a few times and may even temporarily install a copy of StripClub if my resources allow for it.

12 March 1999

The worst thing about mistakes is that you have to make them before you can see them for what they are.
It really is a shame that people can’t be precognizant and see their mistakes before they make them. But then I suppose the world would be different. You would have nothing to really learn from, because unless you were some kind of masocist, you would avoid all of your mistakes and everything would be great.
This could be a really long and deep update, but that’s about all I have to say on the subject. I have now seen the mistakes that I have made for what they are. I can only hope that I get a second chance.
Theater Review: I saw the new Star Wars trailer on the big screen last night. And… damn. This movie is going to be so cool. I didn’t stay to watch Wing Commander (I didn’t pay) and I heard I should be glad.
Today’s Song: What Do I Have To Do by Stabbing Westward. Sums up how I feel these days alot of the time.

8 March 1999

Let me start with this. Stanley Kubrick is dead. He’ll be missed. I’m going to have a screening of 2001: A Space Oddessy and A Clockwork Orange tonight. If you know where I live, feel free to drop by.
Next on the list, wisdom teeth. I had mine pulled on Friday. Egads! It hurts like nothing else. And I can’t eat. But I do have some wicked pain killers. So at least I got something out of it.
So I’m sitting at home all weekend, just watching TV, some DVDs and chatting on the PC in IRC. And my ex-girlfriend and I talk quite a bit. It’s odd I guess, but she and I seem to talk just as much as we used to. I think I like that. But then there is this other girl I’ve been kind of seeing (who might just give me hell if she reads this here) who didn’t say two words to me all weekend. It seems its always like that. I’ve been running an odd sort of experiment and I’m sad to say the result were what I expected. You see, I noticed that I was starting all our conversations. So I decided that I would wait for her to say the first words. We’ve barely spoken in over a week now.
All of this reminds me of a movie I saw, and not really the whole movie, but just one line, one idea. Which is better: to be with someone for the wrong reasons, or alone for the right ones? In my relationships, I’ve always tried to be right, to end things when I became aware I was sticking around for the wrong reasons. This girl, she just got out of one of those “love of my life” kind of relationships. And I totally understand that, I had one myself once. And I get this feeling that maybe I’m the “I just don’t want to be alone” guy. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. Maybe I’m reading too much into nothing. Maybe… maybe I’m not.
I was alone for 4 and 1/2 years because I needed to be, and because I didn’t want to be wrong. I don’t recommend the experience to anyone. 4 and 1/2 years without someone in your life, it’s hell, it’s even worse when you try starting over again. But my unique perspective gives me pause, and makes me wonder… did she wait long enough? did she wait at all? does she need to? Some people don’t. Some people can hop right back in the saddle like they never fell off. But… I just don’t read the situation that way.
Perhaps it’s something I should take up with her instead of typing it out here to no one in particular, and I will. I just don’t know when… when is a good time for something like this?
Today’s Movie: Somekind of Wonderful. It’s the movie that the idea above came from. Good movie. Go see it.

25 February 1999

WARNING: Job rant to follow.
I work for a software company. I work in tech support. (No. I have never had someone ask me about their coffee cup holder. It’s not that kind of support.) I deal with a GUI Development Software package, and I support the programmers who use it.
So all today I have sat in a training class on the newest features of our latest release of one of our products (all of which will be integrated into all of our products). And I’m in awe. With all these new tools and functions, knowledgeable developers will be able to do some really cool stuff. And not only that, they will be able to do large amounts of work in a short period of time. If someone takes a good month or two and develops a nice set of templates for our product that use all the little features we have made available, the programmer will be able to do a one time pass through of the automatic GUI building procedure and be left with only minimal changes, those minor things we have yet to incorporate, to make before they have a final product. They just need to sit down, read all the instructions and then they’ll be set.
So why am I really not looking forward to all this?
It’s that last line. It turns out that 98.5% of all programmers don’t feel they need to read instructions. They know they basics, and they should be able to “feel out” the rest of it. Boy, is that a complete load of bullshit.
When our new product comes out, I will spend the next 3 to 4 months “recovering” people from their “feeling out” the new features. People will manages to irrevocably delete entire projects without making backups and blame me. People will accidentally invalidate data and even the Windows registry playing with things that they have no idea what they are doing, and in the end they will blame me. Every step, every tool, every piece of information they will ever need is within their reach. And each one of them will throw it in the trash because they are “programmers” and they don’t need “handholding”, they aren’t “children”. But they will cry. Each and every one of them will cry when I explain, “Well, you shouldn’t have done that. It says so in the manual.”
So if you ever learn anything from me and my postings here it is this… RTFM. Read The Fucking Manual. Every page. Every word. Every step of every tutorial and example. And don’t blame the support guy for your mistakes. He’s just doing his job.
Theater Review:
Today’s Song:
Overkill by Lazlo Bane. This is originally a Men At Work song, but I picked up this CD from Lazlo Bane based on someone telling me that if I liked the original I would love the remake. Well, I loved the original, so I snagged 11 Transistor by Lazlo Bane and popped it in the CD player. Man, I was totally blown away by this version of the song. Where the original was kind of bubble gum poppy like most of Men At Work’s stuff, this version is smoldering fire. It builds up, starting with one man and a guitar, and ends with Collin Hay himself guesting in the final verse. Truly worth my money, ’cause the rest of the CD isn’t too bad either.
Today’s Movie:
For some odd reason, I’ve had quotes from Real Genius floating through my head all day, so I’m making it my movie of the day. If you have never seen this Val Kilmer classic, you must. Go to the video store now and rent it. Some of you might have to wait because someone else might get to it first, but that’s okay. Go tomorrow. And the next day. And everyday until you get it. And Kent, stop playing with yourself.
TV Highlight:
RERUNS!! I love it when I get to see shows that I’ve already seen, especially if I have seen them 2 or 3 times before. But one step even better is when they preempt reruns so they can air some movie (edited for television) that made hundreds of millions in the theater guaranteeing that 99% of their audience has already seen it, and probably rented it too. Titanic will probably be a good one to run on TV (over 2 nights even!!) because NO ONE has seen that one. And NO ONE has rented or bought it yet. I mean, can you imagine all of the people (all 6 or 7 of them) who will finally be able to see Titanic!!!

24 February 1999

This morning I woke up a little late. Our Monday morning meeting (which is always held on Wednesdays) was due to start and I wasn’t going to have enough time to do my normal morning ritual AND make the meeting. So I took a 3 minute shower instead of 10. I’ve got a ghost of a goatee one cause shaving just the sides took less time that the full shave. And I skip out the door, breakfast in hand.
And then I stop.
I live in Atlanta, and we don’t get snow that often. So when I got outside and saw that everything was dusted in a powdery white, I had to pause and take it in. The whole drive to work was slow and I made my way in awe of the beauty that fresh snow can bestow upon an otherwise dingey looking world. Before I even got out on my neighborhood I almost turned around to get my camera so I could take some pictures of this wonderland around me.
Slowly, slowly, I made my way to work. And I wasn’t alone. Other people were driving slow too. Not because the roads were slick. We had no ice, no snow on the streets, they were clear. People were driving slow, just like me, to take it all in. It wasn’t a blizzard, or even just a handful of flakes here and there. This was the perfect amount of snow for a place that doesn’t get it that often. A thin layer of white over everything but the roads. The rooftops, the yards, the branches of trees. And that which had fallen on the street had melted in place, so that it drifted away as water and didn’t leave those ugly clumps of brown and black dirty snow.
It was pure.
And it brought to me something I had been missing for a while… with my job, my home, my everything, I was getting a little tired, defeated, and depressed. But now I realize, for what is not the first nor the last time I’ll have it pointed out to me, that sometimes all you need is to look at things with new eyes.
Have a wonderful day.
Theater Review:
Today’s Song:
The entire New Miserable Experience album by the Gin Blossoms. It’s all good. Not a bad song in the bunch. Even the country song is cool (“You can’t call it cheatin’ ’cause she reminds me of you”). I listen to this and to their other stuff and it makes me a little sad to know that the group broke up, but at least they put out music this good before they did.
Today’s Movie:
Cloak & Dagger. I had forgotten about this movie until last night when it was on the Disney Channel. It’s not a great movie, it’s not even a good movie. But I remember when I saw this and I was big into the role playing game Top Secret, and at that time, this was the coolest movie. It’s about a kid who has this imaginary role playing character that he actually wills to life. Now, compared to other super spy guys, Dabney Coleman as Jack Flack seems kind of silly, but to a kid of 9 or 10 years old, he made a great secret agent.
TV Highlight:
Well, another week, another Buffy. Last night saw the return of Vampire Willow. Alyson Hannigan is cute, but when she gets all dressed up in those evil leather outfits, its just that little something extra that pushes her into the sexy category. Still, Buffy the Vampire Slayer remains one of the best shows on television.

23 February 1999

So I have this dream last night… it was an odd mix of The Postman (more the book than the movie) and The Stand. It started as a worst case scenario of the Y2K bug (which will never happen, it’s not like the world is just going to shut down over night), a little anarchy, a little war. People banded together here around Atlanta and we started rebuilding society. It was just an odd dream all around. I don’t remember my dreams all that often, so why do I remember this one?
Dreams can tell you alot about a person, I think. What they are thinking, what they really feel, what they strive for, what they hide. I used to keep a dream journal, and I should probably start that again. I just wish I could find that old journal, because maybe now, looking back, I might get a little insight to myself, applying what I know now to what I felt back then. But sometimes, I think that maybe it’s good that I can’t find it. Overanalysing yourself can lead to a mental lockdown. I don’t know.
Occationally, I get this de ja vu feeling, that feeling that you’ve done or seen or heard something before. And later, after I go through the situation, I’ll remember, “I dreamt that! Months ago! Exactly as it happened!” But for some reason, and maybe it’s good and maybe it’s bad, I can’t remember that I’ve dreamt these things before they happen, always after. What good are precognitive dreams if you can’t remember them on time?
By far though, I would say the coolest thing I have ever had happen in dreams is a shared dream. Where I had a dream and someone I knew was in it, and when I talk to them, I find out that they had the exact same dream, only, from their point of view. And it’s like we were in the same dream space or dream scape or whatever, because everything is the same, and in my dream I had full control, and in their dream, so did they, and it’s just so cool and weird and exciting and frightening. And to me, I guess, it lends credibility to things like mental powers, astral worlds, and magic (or magik or majik or however they are spelling it this week to denote real power not illusions of power). Do you believe in magic?
Theater Review: She’s All That. When I first heard the title of this movie and saw the preview I though to myself, “This is going to be another one of those throwaway John Hughes wannabe movies of the ’90s trying to recapture the ’80s teen angst genre.” But I did go see it, and I was surprised. It was actually entertaining, funny, warming, and good. It made me laugh and smile, and at moments, had me remembering times in my life that were (while not that fantastic) similar. While I don’t think any movie will ever quite get was Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, and all those other ’80s classics had, this one comes pretty damn close.
Today’s Song: No More Love by God Lives Underwater. If Alice In Chains did techno music, this is what it would sound like. And I gotta admit, I love this song. The music is pumping and the lyrics are just cool. I picked up Empty, GLU’s first full album and the second that I have bought, specifically for this song, much like I picked up Life In The So-Called Spaceage for From Your Mouth, and found that once again, while looking for one song, I found a good album.
Today’s Movie: Book of Love. It’s an odd little throwaway movie that most people will never see, but I have, and it was a good way to spend a couple hours. A light comedy about a kid trying to land the girl of his dreams in the ’50s.
TV Highlight: I watched the first part of Stephen King’s Storm Of The Century. This was good story telling so far. I’ve heard from some people that it drops off at the end, but so far I’m glued to the screen. I can’t wait to watch parts 2 and 3.

20 February 1999

Nothing worthwhile was ever easy.
That’s a great quote. I’ve always liked it, and I see its truth. But does it mean that if something is hard, it must be worthwhile? I met this girl, you see. I met her on New Year’s Day, but then she had to go back to school. I liked her alot, but the distance between us and a few other things were killing me. I’ve always believed that a relationship, while it may actually be work should never FEEL like work. The work you do for a relationship should feel good, you should never mind what you have to do. So when things started feeling like work, and I start censoring what I said, I ended things.
Then I meet this other girl. I already knew her, but it was like turning around. Bang. There she was. I like hanging out with her, everything seems so cool. I’d love to hang out with her more, but I get this feeling, and she has told me, that she isn’t totally over the last guy she dated. I want so much to help her, but here is another quote I heard once that I also see the truth of: “You can’t hire contractors for a broken heart, it’s a Do-It-Yourself job.” You can talk and listen, advise and sympathize, but in the end, only the person with the broken heart can know when to move on. When they have healed enough to dare again. And therein lies my problem… I like this girl, and while I’m not looking to get married, I’ve never been one to just “date”. But I’m afraid to get too close for fear she isn’t ready and I know she doesn’t want to get too close for the same reason, but I can’t help but want to get closer.
“Nothing worthwhile was ever easy.”
Theater Review:
Varsity Blues. It’s a high school football movie. That just about covers it. But I have to say, it’s done really well. At the end of the movie, during the final game, I was on the edge of my seat. I really got caught up in the emotions of the situation. I have to give this movie a thumbs up.
Today’s Song:
“If I Can’t Change Your Mind” by Sugar. In a bizarre sort of way, this has to do with everything I said above. The song rocks, but it’s the lyrics that bring me back to it again and again.
Today’s Movie:
Total Recall. I got this on DVD. It’s just a good movie because sometimes, don’t you just wish you were someone else only pretending to be in your current life and that actually you were part of something bigger, something better, something.. important. I know I do sometimes… not all the time, but just sometimes.
TV Highlight:
It’s been here before and it’ll probably be here again, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This show is still one of the better things on television. If you don’t watch it already, you should.

16 October 1998

Well, this is the end of my plan. I may start it up somewhere else someday, but for now, this is the end.
…all good things.
Trivia Answer: Before Val Kilmer was in Top Gun he was in Top Secret!

15 October 1998

Argh… missed a few days… and I still don’t remember what I was going to rant about…
Pete and I have finally gotten some things rolling with our new gaming clan / social club… you’ll find us on Gamesnet irc servers in channel #nobody.
Other than that… I watched the Braves make a stab at a comeback that ended as I expected… they brought it to 6 games, but lost. From a 3-0 deficit they did a damn good job in any event.
Well… I’m off to do some junk (work mostly)… until next time… all good things.
TV Highlight: Buffy… Charmed… and now I’m digging the commercials for Brimstone. This show should last about 6 episodes because most people won’t like it, but I think it looks like it’s going to kick some serious ass. I don’t like Peter Horton, but a show about a demon trying to do good to get into heaven just is a cool idea. I will be glued to the TV.
Trivia Answer: Dennis Quaid and Val Kilmer both played Doc Holliday in movies about Wyatt Earp. Dennis did it with Kevin Costner in “Wyatt Earp” and Val did it with Kurt Russell in “Tombstone”.
Trivia Question: What was Val Kilmer’s big screen debut? (if you have been keeping track, we have circled back around to a member of the Top Gun cast.)