Cloverfield

12 out of 13 nots
for Survival Panic, and Crazy Shaky Camera Goodness

Let me begin by just saying, if you go see Cloverfield expecting the traditional Us versus Them monster movie, you will be disappointed. The only real battles between humans and monsters are seen in the background, passing by or as “we” run through it. That said, if you go in looking for a heart pounding survival run through New York as it collapses around you, this film totally rock.

More after the break…

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Snakes on a Plane

Where do I begin?

When I first heard of this movie, I was excited because I love monster movies. A true monster movie is one where something, not human, shows up to kill people and the people try to kill it. No trying to save it or understand it, just survival. I also liked the concept, that airport security has become so tight that a man who wanted someone dead would have no viable way to sneak a weapon on board, so instead puts a giant crate of venomous snakes in the cargo hold timed to be released at a certain point during the flight.

And then you have Samuel L. Jackson, a man who excells at doing action flicks. By far, my favorite performance of his is in Deep Blue Sea. If you haven’t seen that, go see it. In fact, see it first, because his role in that actually makes one scene of SoaP (the stupidest shortening of a movie name in history, by the way) funny when it is not really supposed to be.

So… what went wrong?

First, there was the Hype. Originally the hype did nothing but make this movie better. The rating went from PG-13 to R, ensuring a bloodier and scarier movie. And it kept the name. At one point, as I’m sure you heard, there was a plan to rename the movie to “Flight 121” or something like that, but Sam Jackson actually threatened to quit, so it stayed “Snakes on a Plane”. But then the hype went too far… t-shirts, blogs, everything… just too much. The hype blew its wad too soon, and left its date unsatisfied. If the hype would have just coincided with the release of the film a little more, it would have worked so much better.

Next… well, I’m not going to spoil it, but… crappiest ending ever. Seriously. It was a good monster movie right up until “the line”. Yes, that one you’ve heard about when Sam drops two MFs in one line venting his frustration with the snakes. After that the movie went down hill. It had potential, all the right elements were there, but Kenan Thompson just totally blew it.

The movie, overall, was worth seeing… it is a good monster movie. But its not the end all be all of cool like the hype wants you to believe. See the movie if you want, or wait until DVD (3 months, tops, and maybe they’ll have a half dozen kickass comentary tracks). In the end, I enjoyed Deep Rising alot more than Snakes on a Plane.

23 September 1998

Well, it’s been a while since I updated this… more than 2 months. In that time, I’ve been working my new job as Seagull Software (basically learning that every horror story you ever heard about people who call tech support about “broken cupholders” and “foot pedals” are all true), and I’ve been hanging out with friends alot.
I promised a rant a while back about something that… frankly, something I can’t remember. Must not have been that important. In any event, my world has changed and my outlook on a few things are moving from their once anchored points.
For now, I’m just happy to work, get paid (once a month, now THERE is something to rant about), and hang out on Friday nights at Barnacle’s (a good local restaurant/bar where they have trivia for house cash).
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Theater Review: I’ve seen alot of movies since my last update, but I’m just gonna talk about one (partly in comparison to another) that I saw recently, Baseketball. I have to say that this was much better than I thought (and maybe low expectations helped make it better). It was rude, disgusting, offensive, and down right roll-on-the-floor funny (although not in the theater I saw it in). Everyone I know (save a few) were raving about how funny Something About Mary was, but really, I didn’t like that one very much. Sure, it was funny, but not really as funny as all the hype. Whereas Baseketball started with alot of hype, but that died out when the movie wasn’t raking in the money. I just really liked this movie. And as a bonus, I only paid a dollar to see it. That’s right, I frequent the dollar theater, you want to make something of it!! =)
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Today’s Song: Dammit by Blink 182. I got this CD when I took advantage of one of Columbia House Music Club’s Buy One Get Three Free deals, and it was worth every penny, and this song.. well, it’s just a poppin’ tune. Makes me want to get up and slam.
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Today’s Movie: Like the theater reviews, I’ve seen a bunch of other movies in the time off, but I’ll pick on one that I saw recently. Mimic. It was a cheesy monster movie. But it knew what it was and did it pretty well. Plus, any monster movie where they pull no punches and let the big bad bug kill the annoying kids is a good movie in my book.