20 February 1999

Nothing worthwhile was ever easy.
That’s a great quote. I’ve always liked it, and I see its truth. But does it mean that if something is hard, it must be worthwhile? I met this girl, you see. I met her on New Year’s Day, but then she had to go back to school. I liked her alot, but the distance between us and a few other things were killing me. I’ve always believed that a relationship, while it may actually be work should never FEEL like work. The work you do for a relationship should feel good, you should never mind what you have to do. So when things started feeling like work, and I start censoring what I said, I ended things.
Then I meet this other girl. I already knew her, but it was like turning around. Bang. There she was. I like hanging out with her, everything seems so cool. I’d love to hang out with her more, but I get this feeling, and she has told me, that she isn’t totally over the last guy she dated. I want so much to help her, but here is another quote I heard once that I also see the truth of: “You can’t hire contractors for a broken heart, it’s a Do-It-Yourself job.” You can talk and listen, advise and sympathize, but in the end, only the person with the broken heart can know when to move on. When they have healed enough to dare again. And therein lies my problem… I like this girl, and while I’m not looking to get married, I’ve never been one to just “date”. But I’m afraid to get too close for fear she isn’t ready and I know she doesn’t want to get too close for the same reason, but I can’t help but want to get closer.
“Nothing worthwhile was ever easy.”
Theater Review:
Varsity Blues. It’s a high school football movie. That just about covers it. But I have to say, it’s done really well. At the end of the movie, during the final game, I was on the edge of my seat. I really got caught up in the emotions of the situation. I have to give this movie a thumbs up.
Today’s Song:
“If I Can’t Change Your Mind” by Sugar. In a bizarre sort of way, this has to do with everything I said above. The song rocks, but it’s the lyrics that bring me back to it again and again.
Today’s Movie:
Total Recall. I got this on DVD. It’s just a good movie because sometimes, don’t you just wish you were someone else only pretending to be in your current life and that actually you were part of something bigger, something better, something.. important. I know I do sometimes… not all the time, but just sometimes.
TV Highlight:
It’s been here before and it’ll probably be here again, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This show is still one of the better things on television. If you don’t watch it already, you should.

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